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Disappointment - reaction or action

Today I got excited, I got excited about something I had been working on and little by little my faith in it happening was growing, my candle was growing tall instead of being used down to the last spark of candle light.

I have tended over the past years to not get excited, because when I get excited and I am happy that a spark has happened or that something that I can sink my teeth into, even as little as painting the doors on the kitchen cupboards or planting a vegetable garden.

Somehow I would get excited and would be in such a happy place, then along would come the no, that's not how you would do it, or that's not the right place for it, or I don't have the energy or time to help you with that. Cause hey sometimes we need help to get our dreams achieved.

Then along comes my friend disappointment and see-I-told-you-so. wow took the wind right out of that sail of dreams I had, and here's me blowing and blowing like a little kid trying to blow up a balloon, you know the scene right? The one where the little child is trying ever so hard to blow it up or get that thing right and it doesn't happen, the look of sadness and disappointment, yup thats me!

So they hang around for a while, tell me that I am useless and see I told you I wouldn't leave you, I will always be here, I will always have your back. Great, I think!

The people that I believe would say - how can we make that happen so you can live your dream - well they don't, they never do, it's all good when you are fluffing about, doing bits and pieces in between things. It doesn't disrupt their life much, though when you step out and say here I am and THIS IS WHAT I AM DOING - well you gotta be prepared for the baseball bat to the side of the dreamscape. (now thats not to say that everyone will have the same affect or reception as I have had throughout my years) Though there will be the naysayers in all areas of your life.

Now that I am in that situation once again, what am I going to do? Will I allow someone else, or a point of view, have that much power over my life and decisions? Or do I choose something different? To create a different choice where disappointment doesn't get to rule my life, the story doesn't get to be played again so that I continue to play small in a world where things are different now, I am different now.

If I need someone to back me up who will that be? Me - that's the long and short of it. If I do not back myself to do this, why would I expect anyone else to.

What energy can I be to out-create that disappointment?

What energy do I require to go ahead with my plans with ease?

What further demands will I make of myself and the Universe to show up for me to live the life I choose to live?

I know what/how I do not wish to live/work, I have learnt that over the years, and I am finally choosing something different.

I choose to not let this stop me.

I will create my joy in business, life and living.

No one gets to choose that for me anymore.

All of life comes to me with ease joy and glory -

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