Have you ever given notice of resignation to your boss? I did a week ago, 2 weeks from today 23rd December 2020, if not sooner, I will no longer be constrained to working for someone else.
You see my plan was that I was resigning my 8 -5 job, my stress job where I would leave at 7:30 am so I could be at work at least 20 minutes before hand so I would be able to get myself settled and ready for the day ahead, then be in it for the next 8 hours.
You see I was getting restless, I would get snippets of what life could be like if I worked my own business more, I could expand and have time to grow, helping, facilitating others to find that ease in their life, in the choices that they were making. Walking my talk! That is what I was asking for, more of being a real contribution to the world.
I have often with this position and my previous one started work at 6 or 6:30am, so I could get the extra stuff done because even though going out of the office is part of the job, it is also frowned upon if you do your job and take longer than an hour. So I did it, I would take my own time, to make my life easier so I wouldn't have the guilt of being out of the office too long. I would do work at home, or on my lunch break. There have been many times where I would do things because "that's what you do, you go that extra mile for the clients" much of my position is very thankless, it is more repeat issues and nothing is ever good enough. Stressful and soul hardening, you have to be hard in this job otherwise you get walked all over. People are People and they only push the point to see what they can get away with.
For me though, it has made me harder than I would have ever wanted to be, it has made me not believe people, it has really drained me mentally and physically.
Now though; now that I have given notice I see a light at the end of the tunnel, you see we moved here to create a different life, and fell back into the old one, repeat lesson number one, the never ending cycle of the hamsters wheel, the one that they do not wish you to get off, you need to keep buying, cause that is living.
Just because its easy its what we know, its a regular paycheck, we'd be mad to give that up. I have regular expenditures that come out each week. All of the questions started coming through, how the heck was I going to do it?
Honestly I am still not sure. I didn't put a date on my notice, just said 4 weeks, first mistake right there. I came to the realisation today that if you are putting an end to something, then you need to have clear boundaries, you need to put an end date on it.
Step 1. Make a decision. ( follow your knowing, tune into the lightness of that decision, of that questioning, you will know)
Step 2. Take action. we all make decisions, all day everyday, do we take action from that - the majority of us, nope. It doesn't happen, and I get it, it is so easy to make that decision, then not do anything about it. It is like losing weight, it is all well and good to decide that is what you are going to do, though unless you join the gym and go do some frickin exercises you are not going to lose the weight (I know I have decided that way too many times). Its the same with everything else you may or may not decide to do.
Step 3. Follow through. keep going, keep choosing, keep acting on that choice.
Step 4. Congratulate yourself. Ignore the judgement of the how's, the whys, the your not good enough. That is all bullshit to distract you from where you are truly going.
Step 5. Repeat step 1, 2,3,4,5.
I have been leading up to this resignation letter since we moved here last year. Then, I again, thought about it, when the dreaded virus took hold, it spurred me on even more to create something greater with my life, to bring more light and more tools to help with stress and anxiety. Which I believe the universe, God, whoever you like to call upon, heard my decision back then and has been working silently in the back ground for me to step off and finally make that complete decision to jump.
I always looked at people that made their own business and succeeding in that business, or that they stepped into what they really actually enjoy doing, how did they make the leap?
A girlfriend of mine, just recently, made the decision, she resigned, took action, followed through even though she got wobbly, congratulated herself, then repeated step 5 and is making another decision to keep going, things are creating for her, she is following her own lightness in decisions.
You know when they say "it's never an easy decision", well in some instances maybe not, I get it though, kids, husbands, other peoples opinions, expenditures etc etc. I think that I used that as a cop out for so long, blamed every body else, blamed myself for never being good enough. And hey maybe I am still not there, chances are I will not be good enough for someone that requires some type of healing in some area of their life, I know I have so much to learn in the way of being a practitioner of all the things.
I am so ready to jump now though. My space is fabulous, its not perfect, I do not have all the "things", what I do have though is a spirit of giving, a spirit of knowing that what I do will help others, it will help to create ease in their world, which then has a ripple affect. I will travel, I will experience many of the things this life has to offer out there, I am open to receiving all that and then some. Because I have made the decision, because I am following through, because why the heck not!
We hear it all the time, we only have one life (matter of opinion and belief), well what if this is it, this life is that last one you will have? That is what I began to ask myself more and more. I do not wish to wait anymore for the chance of winning lotto to free up my time and my bank account so I can do the things I desire to do. I will have to cut down yep, no more Netflix or Stan for this chicky, which honestly apart from the Christmas movies and the documentaries they have going on at the moment, I really am not interested. It will give me more time and space to write my blogs, or read more books, to expand my mind, instead of closing it down in flashy colours on the screen because my head is so full of the crap from the day I couldn't possibly have any free will left to choose to relax with a book.
Yep, it won't be for everyone, what if you started choosing though, for the lightness, what if you made decisions based on what feels good and lights up your world?
What if everything you dreamed of as a child could become true?
Who know's? I don't, I am sure willing to give it a go though.
What else is possible for us? What else is possible for our future?
I am holding onto the hope that I can play a small role in creating something better, for myself, for my husband, our children, for the world.
You may think that is foolish, why would I even think that that is possible. I know I was told many many years ago by one of my sisters that I was too naive, another said that I was too materialistic, so I hid, I made myself small, I didn't ask for anything from that day forward. I lost my hope that there was goodness out there in the world and I slowly started to die inside. I lost my ability to dream through the decision to agree with what they had said.
I am not letting that hope die again. I am stronger now. I am my own woman, and growing into that more and more each day. It has taken, many tears, many lessons learnt, study of self and others, learning seeking, growing.
I quit my job!
Choices create greater opportunities, if only you begin to choose.
How does that get any better?
Honestly - how does it?