Today Mother's Day 2020, is a day that many celebrate, with good thoughts of endearing mum's, who have received kind thoughts, words of adoration, many with the " thanks mum for everything".
I have been a mum for 25 years, 4 children, with each child, I have grown and changed as they have all grown and changed. For each of them I love them dearly, they have taught me so very much, they love me in each their own way. I am so proud of the young men of women they are and will become.
I have been a woman that has miscarried and know the pain of losing a child, remembering him on the due date, remembering him on mothers day, the quietness that is, that as only a woman that has miscarried knows, the sense of loss, guilt, and sadness of what will never be.
I am the friend of a woman that has given birth to a stillborn child. The grief of being with the child for 9 months then only having split seconds, knowing in your heart that the loss is real, not being able to change that and bring them to life.
I am the niece, cousin and sister-in-law of women that have lost children to drownings, never to hear the child's laughter again, to hear them say I love you mum.
I am the wife of a man who's mother died when he was a young man, knowing that he will only ever say Happy Mothers Day Mum in his quite thoughts today, only the memory of how much he loved her cooking and adored her as his mum.
I am the step mum to 3, growing changing young man and women, this has also changed my perspective on mothers and children, how blessed I am to watch them grow and learn.
I am the daughter of a woman who has given birth 9 times, to grieve the loss of her husband all too soon, the strength of endurance that she has, the strength of her God that she puts her faith in him, the strength of a daughter watching and being with her mother when she has grieved her children gone to soon, the daughter preparing for her mothers death, knowing the time is near.
Now I am the daughter of a mother who's time is growing near, knowing that each time may be that last time I drive away waving my "goodbye mum, I love you" knowing that at some point I will be having to say my goodbyes at her funeral.
We each as children and then as mothers have our own stories to tell, memories of both good and bad. We have judged and been judged, we have cried, laughed, grown through each sleepless night.
Whether we have been able to conceive a child naturally, through IVF, through rape, adopted children, have decided to not have children, it doesn't matter because at some point somewhere in our lives motherhood has been in conversation, it has been in quiet desperation of decisions never knowing if its the right one or not.
Today I celebrate all of the above and say quite prayers for those who need strength to get through the day. May this day have bought, crusty toast and jam for breakfast with orange juice, slobbery kisses and hugs as the little ones crawl all over your face.
To the Mum's with the little babes, keep going it gets easier, enjoy their sweet faces with lots of kisses on those chubby cheeks. Lay the foundations of respect, strength and love.
To the Mum's of teenagers, keep going, it gets easier. Boundaries & freedom is a fine line between keeping them close and pushing them away. So be easy on yourself, remember you can only do what you can at the time and when they get to that age the behaviour they choose is on them, they know right from wrong and now it's up to them.
Hug your mum tight and tell her you love her. Squeeze your children hold them tight and tell them you love them. Tell your wife/sister/mother/daughter how amazing she is, regardless of the situation. We are all here to love and protect our children, we also need to remember to be kind to ourselves as mothers, we don't have a handbook for them so we are guessing, using our intuition to work it out, however your day has turned out, I hope that you have found a smile and some laughter in this day.
Side by side us women as wives, mums and sisters we all need to stick together, in this crazy world of motherhood, may you reach out when needed, may you be gentle on yourself, may you feel how completely loved you are and always will be.
Happy Mothers Day